let a thousand families bloom
i got married to malcolm in 2023. had our first child in 2024. and as i looked around at my friends—brilliant, thoughtful, ambitious people who would make incredible parents—i kept hearing the same thing: "i want a family, but i haven't found the right person."
the dating apps are a slog. parties can be hit-or-miss. matchmakers charge five figures to introduce you to people who aren't even your type. meanwhile, that fertility window keeps getting smaller.
so i'm doing something about it.
of marriageable age
starting october 2025, i'm launching a private community for people who are serious about finding their life partner and starting a family within the next two years. soon.
here's what makes this different:
- strongly vetted. equal numbers of men and women, all 25-45, all genuinely ready to commit. we devote a big chunk of energy to screening out those whose timelines don't meet our standards, and anyone with serious red flags (abuse, addiction, violence, etc). anyone who makes it is ready to marry, and full of basic decency.
- your kind of people. if you're reading this, you probably move in bay area extended universe circles. the kind of person who can talk technical over breakfast and spiritual over dinner. who thinks deeply about how to raise children, what cities enable human flourishing, and whether that new ai safety paper actually makes sense. twitter mutuals. burning man campmates. that founder from the party last week who surprised you by being genuinely thoughtful.
- designed for connection. a curated community with: private online space for getting to know each other between events; regular members-only gatherings (cozy, unique parties and longer multi-day retreats); optional online support to get crystal clear on what you actually want (and what might be getting in your way).
- skin in the game. members pay $200-2000 to join (sliding scale based on your means); you also sign a success bounty. if you marry or have a child with someone from the group, you pay $2k-100k (again, based on your financial situation; this range is based on bounties already posted by people I've been speaking with). i want people who are serious, and nothing says serious like putting money where your mouth is.
- six-month container. your membership period lasts up to six months. either you find your person, or you re-apply, or you go try something else. this is not a long-term community, but an ephemeral one.
the clock's ticking
i know that sounds intense. good. it should be.
here's what i keep seeing: incredible people who would be wonderful parents spending their fertile years in relationships that are going nowhere, or endlessly swiping, or waiting for "someday."
let's make a better plan for you than "someday".
if you want children—if you want to build the kind of family that makes your heart sing when you imagine it—every day, every month, every year matters. every month earlier is a month more with your beloved, a month more with your children, a month more with your grandchildren. what is that worth?
two ways to help
option 1: you're single and ready
tell me about yourself. what you want. why now. i'm personally reading every application.
option 2: you know someone who should be here
women are the bottleneck in this project (simple demographics—we need equal numbers, and the more women join, the more men we can accept). if you know a brilliant single woman who wants a family, send this her way. you might change her life.
let's do this
what i can promise is a room full of people who are just as serious as you are about creating something beautiful. people who've already excavated their souls to invite their beloved in. people who are ready.
the rest is up to you.
but you have to start somewhere. and that somewhere needs to be soon. because those children you imagine? they're waiting for you to stop waiting.
—jessica ocean